This was me in my early 20s

I just found a notebook that I used to draw my ideas and write my thoughts when I was in my early 20s, I used to write in English because I guess it is harder to tell things about yourself in your own lenguaje, when I was writing in English sometimes it felt like I was writing about somebody else.. some of the metaforas ( I dont feel like looking for the word in English now) are horrible, but I will not edit myself.. so this was me.

Now that I have nobody but penpals, I feel quite bored, I found good books but I can't think anymore. I am worried because I had broken Salvador Dali's rule, I had too much and now I do not know how to fill the emptiness, shit! shit! shit!
My situation is good but I am not fine, I am ok but sad. I had never had anybody, except for you know who ( in 2006 I really dont remember who) damn.
I cant be all sad because somebody loves me ( I remember now in 2006) Damn.
I felt miserable in my job.
Expectations- the world puts on you since you are born ( this lead to my first 40x40 work from the squares series the one that I will later call nursery, the unopen cans represent unborn children and the forks the word just waiting for them to be out to put their sharp points in their flesh).
I want some extasy and a good fuck.
I had a movie romance.. not really, but Can I have it again?
I was searching or and asking for a sign but the are so confusing, that actually it will be fun to try to solve them. If I only had the time.
I messed up at work.. I really dont care.
Is this a sign for my next move?
If I could find my new street name.
I hope I can sleep well today
Time is running or ticking or whatever
I think I know now why I dont really talk much, This is because I talk to myself all the time so I dont feel the need to talk to anybody else.
Picking up my dirty clothes the fucking socks keep falling down
Everything is starting to work out.. but for everyone else.
Today I emptied my bad Karma it cost me 20usd, like 30 minutes of anger, fair enough, I said.
So I thought, this fucking emptiness again, no nice clothes, no new cd, no anything can fill the emptiness.
Jay made me realize many things yesterday. God, what to do.. how to reach.
I had nothing to lose ( that I care ) I will be a budist soon.